POST-TRIAL LOOSE ENDS & SHARING

[trashmouthtozier]

[that night, after a KO'd Eddie has been brought back to Cabin 3 to recuperate and everyone has scattered, Richie returns to the campfire with a book tucked under his arm, and a flashlight. he's not thinking about bringing supplies for s'mores, or hot dogs, or burgers, or any of that, not this week. so if anyone wants to show up with food, they're welcome. if anyone has appetites.

this week, he's focused on the remnants of a word he scribbled in the dirt earlier, flipping through the book he found on Thursday. he exhales, slowly, looking like he might just be sick all over again, no matter how tired he is. the makeshift scarf Cielo made him is draped over his shoulders to keep away any evening chill]

Oh, God. I ... I know what they said, you guys.

Comments

[soylentprotag]

I. When Lemons Give You Lives

[Lenka's missing for a little while this time too, somewhere between the execution and the campfire, but he'll be there at some point, sitting on the ground close to it and staring into it. He's pretty much tucked all the way under his small cape, the one he started wearing this week, and still shivering a little now and then even if he's never shown other signs of being cold while he's been in camp.

His eyes are a little bit red, but other than that he'll just be curled up there quietly. His God Arc is propped up a little ways behind him, because he really does bring it everywhere with him now, no matter what. Sorry.]

II. You Snooze You... Have Got Nothing to Lose

[At some point he's curled back up on the ground and... actually, he's asleep, somehow. It's debatable if anyone will even realize this considering how little he's said or moved here, but you could always try waking him up.]

I

[particlebarrier]

[.... Well. After all this, Lenka's going to get a gentle pat on the shoulder.]

Hey. You hanging in there?

[soylentprotag]

... I'm here.

[Which isn't quite an answer, but is also a complete answer in itself.

He's here, because he wasn't allowed to be anywhere else, but he'll look up for a moment before going back to his curled position. There's no real expression or inflection to him at the moment. He's pretty out of emotional energy after the night.]

[particlebarrier]

Yeah? So am I.

[A beat.]

That doesn't really say much.

[soylentprotag]

[He breathes out a little.

It's been a little more soothing than he expected, seeing everyone gathered around in spite of everything. His first instinct is still to withdraw and keep to himself for a little while to pull it together -- that's the reason he can at least talk coherently now, and keep himself settled by the fire despite everything. But it's important, too, to see everyone alive. Here.]

It's... I'll survive. [unlike how other people perhaps use that phrase, he's perfectly serious about it, even if there's no conviction in his voice right now] I don't know what to do.

[Apparently that's the more pressing question here.]

[particlebarrier]

[Lance sighs, shifting his gaze down to his shoes. Lenka's not the most reassuring person and it doesn't really take a genius to work out that his assurances are paper thin at best. If his own head is buzzing right now, he can't really imagine what it must be like for the person who actually had the punishment pulled on them.]

You can cry. [More. He can see Lenka's eyes are a little red. He'll just be tactful and not point that out.] Not like I'm gonna make fun of you for it.

[A beat.]

But seriously? We're going to find a way out of here before more people die.

[soylentprotag]

I'm tired.

[It's said softly, maybe a little more honestly because that's as far as he can go right now. It's been a long time since he's been broken down as far as he has here, and it's been a gradually accelerating process, like watching a train come and being unable to move. There had only been a little strength left for tears, at the end. He doesn't know where he is now.

There's always one rule, though: he'll keep going, because he has to. Picking himself back up this time around is going to take an unspecified amount of time longer.]

I don't know how much help I can be.

[Not acting isn't in his nature. But he's also unused to fighting what he can't see. Floundering hasn't gotten him much of anywhere.]

[particlebarrier]

[Not knowing what to do and feeling more like a hindrance than a help has been Lance's mood since day one. He's admitted as much to Lenka before, but hearing that sentiment echoed back at him -- despite the fact that Lance has also told Lenka to quit the life endangering adventuring -- feels awul and hollow.

He keeps his eyes on the fire, not wanting to look at Lenka until he can forcibly lighten the mood. It's a big task, but that's... all he's really good for.]

If that's a backwards way of asking me to carry you to bed, the answer's no.

[soylentprotag]

[Looking back, he'd never really known what to do either -- he'd just known that he had something more than the last time he'd been faced with things like this, death and inexplicable and horrible choices and losing every last thing he'd ever had. He'd had to do something.

Even if it was just fighting against not knowing what to do. Blindly, perhaps fruitlessly. He couldn't do nothing.

It would probably have gone better, if he'd been better at giving up.

Lenka does raise his head a little at Lance's non-sequitur, blinking brief and slow as he tries to process this sudden jump to point T. It's not unfamiliar, though, in dark times. He thinks about it for a moment.]

... I wouldn't make you carry my God Arc.

[Is it his very oblique and deadeyed way of calling Lance a noodle? Who knows.]

[particlebarrier]

Mhm, no need to say another word. You're nervous that I could rock that thing better than you. I get it. Totally reasonable fear.

[He knows that's not it at all, but still. He grins.]

Need anything else?

[soylentprotag]

You already have a weapon, Lance.

[Though the image of Lance trying to dual wield the God Arc and his own weapon is kind of interesting. It mostly ends in crashing into things or tipping over, though, so much as he vaguely wishes there were more God Arc wielders in camp and more giant gunblades that's definitely wishful thinking and inevitable flights of imagination. Especially because no one here could get their hands on a God Arc in the first place.

So the answer is almost a little regretful. But they have other skills; this weekend has more than proved that. It's just up in the air where those skills will take this.

He thinks over the last question for an unnecessarily long time. The final answer, though...]

What do people usually eat, at a campfire...

[particlebarrier]

[That is such an overly dramatic pause that Lance is almost beginning to regret having offered to get Lenka something in the vague fear that it's going to be a weird or complicated request. The laugh he lets out when Lenka finally speaks up is partly relief.]

Seriously? [He shakes his head and will just reeeeeeeeach over to grab a bag of marshmallows.]

This [He holds one out.] is a marshmallow. And this [He tosses it up. The poor thing catches fire mid-air, but the flames are small and they extinguish as the marshmallow lands back in Lance's open hand.] is not how you're supposed to cook them, but style points are everything. Have at it.

[He'll just... hold that one out for Lenka to eat. If he wants it for some reason.]

I

[velocirainbow]

[ ... He comes over to Lenka, and... when he returns? Gives him a great, big, bear hug.

Sorry, Lenka. Cielo... is worried about you. ]

[soylentprotag]

[He doesn't move for a moment, doesn't stiffen or react or anything because he hasn't quite caught up to what's happening -- his reactions are much slower than usual, all of his perceptions a little left-of-center, and he's never been all that good at figuring out hugs in the first place. But Lenka does eventually realize that it's Cielo's arms around him.

He closes his eyes and curls into it a little. It's warm. He's been cold since earlier, even if being a God Eater should have taken care of that.]

[velocirainbow]

[ He holds him for a little while, until he's sure Lenka will be okay.

He won't be okay, Dyaus seems to remind him, or perhaps his own mind. One or the other. He knows this. But he will hold him anyway, because he knows he needs it. When he does eventually let go, it's... with a sullen smile. ]

... Lenka.

[ Wow, he didn't use "bro" or "brudda". He really does care a particular amount right now. ]

You ain't gotta say nothin', you ain't obligated. We can jus', sit or whateva. I hope... you don't mind. I jus'... I owe you dat much.

[ After today, Lenka deserved so much more. He had tried so hard to make it better, and even that had gone poorly. He feels... so bad for him. That punishment was too cruel; what did Lenka even do wrong in the first place? Something to do with the RV park? He isn't sure, but Lenka needs comfort, and so he is here, for his friend. ]

[soylentprotag]

[At some point one of his own hands comes up to Cielo's shoulder, holding on a little bit. Loosely, and it takes a while, but be proud of him, he's remembered that you actually have to do something with a hug other than meditate or stare into it.

And it helps, to hold on to something, someone -- remembering that there are people alive and there instead of just himself, because Lenka is definitely all the way adrift right now, all of him loosely held together in a tangle of scrubbed out emotions and nameless things.

But he sits, and listens to Cielo and his smile. It's very, very dark, and the things in the woods and the lake are at their backs, like that first weekend. But the campfire is bright enough to illuminate dozens of faces, still, somehow. Even with Tuesday. Even with the execution. He lets all of that flow over him with the words, and soothe just a little bit now that his mind has screamed itself hoarse.

Eventually:]

Cielo. [quiet, quiet, a little distant like he's digging up the word] You don't owe me anything.

[A pause, where his thoughts forget their tracks for a moment, but there's something about the trial and something about being here that makes him need to say this.]

Comrades. Right?

[velocirainbow]

[ His smile is... unguarded, admittedly. Raw. ]

Dat's right. Can't be a comrade alone.

[ He nudges Lenka a bit with his foot, as if to illustrate some point. Hey, they're still on earth, they're still grounded. ]

... I'm here for you.

[soylentprotag]

[They're still on Earth, but the Earth he's a part of has never had signs that really tell you where to go. It's a stretch of wasteland, going on and on into the distance -- and that's just Japan, a small island nation that could still take you weeks and months to walk across. The point is, the campfire is keeping him more grounded than anything. The people here.

He lets himself be nudged, turning his head a little to look at him, at least.]

Thanks. I know.

[And he does know, some part of him is aware that even with the losses they've sustained there's enough people left that they can still carry each other. For now. He can't look at the rest of it yet, the way he is now. He can't stay this way: this week, Red, have reminded him forcibly of that much.

He lets the reminder sink a little into the tangle of everything. It'll be back later. It always is. Sighs a little.]

... I don't know what would have happened. If I picked someone else.

[That's a question that refuses to go away, even now. It blinks like a broken neon light in the back of his head. What if. What if. What if. What if.]