[ This is it, the one thing that hurts more than the thought of his impending death. Boa's never had friends, never in his life. Not like this. Never.
Friends make you weak.
The eternal mantra of the Snake Pit. Even though Boa hadn't spent his whole life in there, it is carved into his core nevertheless.
He'd tried to let go of it here and he'd enjoyed it... He hated how much he did, but there was nothing that could take it back once he had opened his heart. Boa'd never loved anyone before he came to this camp.
Camp Petoskey is the worst place in all possible universes, Boa is sure of it. But there's also been no place where he has ever been this happy. A kind of tingling happiness that he could have never even imagined before. Something he never missed, simply because he had never known it. Now he knows that even if he were to survive this by some crazy miracle, he'll never be able to fill this hole again. He'll never be able to go back to being a Snake Pit blader, someone who can only live for himself. Whatever happens now, Boa's done for. This is the end for him and everything he ever wished for.
He can't respond. He doesn't have anything. He just buries his head in his hands and lets out strangled sobs. It's the kind of ugly crying that makes you wonder if the person is choking on their own tears. And maybe if he could drown himself in them right now that would just be fine. ]
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Friends make you weak.
The eternal mantra of the Snake Pit. Even though Boa hadn't spent his whole life in there, it is carved into his core nevertheless.
He'd tried to let go of it here and he'd enjoyed it... He hated how much he did, but there was nothing that could take it back once he had opened his heart. Boa'd never loved anyone before he came to this camp.
Camp Petoskey is the worst place in all possible universes, Boa is sure of it. But there's also been no place where he has ever been this happy. A kind of tingling happiness that he could have never even imagined before. Something he never missed, simply because he had never known it. Now he knows that even if he were to survive this by some crazy miracle, he'll never be able to fill this hole again. He'll never be able to go back to being a Snake Pit blader, someone who can only live for himself. Whatever happens now, Boa's done for. This is the end for him and everything he ever wished for.
He can't respond. He doesn't have anything. He just buries his head in his hands and lets out strangled sobs. It's the kind of ugly crying that makes you wonder if the person is choking on their own tears. And maybe if he could drown himself in them right now that would just be fine. ]