Utsugi "May the Vores Be With You" Lenka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
soylentprotag) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
camppetoskey2018-07-07 03:11 pm
soylentprotag) wrote in camppetoskey2018-07-07 03:11 pm
After(life) Party--
[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.
At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.
There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]
At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.
There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]
no subject
What? Killed who?
no subject
[he looks over at the stain where Boa's body was not long ago]
There's no difference. Just like there wasn't any between Ren and ... Talcott. And Lilith. There's no difference between us. I shouldn't have said that to him. And if I apologize on Monday he'll act like nothing happened.
[that numbness is starting to crack, and he shakes his head. he doesn't want it to. he doesn't want to cry. he's sick of crying.]
I can't do anything about it. So instead I have to just ... clean up the mess. Because I helped make it. Whether I voted for him, or not.
no subject
He looks down at the rock in Richie's hand, then at the others still scattering the ground.
Richie's right. Yeah, they could justify it by saying they were defending Mike... but Mike got away after Bev threw the first one... they didn't need to throw all the others. He glances over Richie's shoulder and, for a moment, he sees Bowers, his face covered in blood from the cut on his forehead. He gasps, panicking momentarily before he reminds himself that Bowers isn't here. It's just another fucking hallucination.
Taking a breath, he nods, reaching down and taking the rock from Richie's hand.]
We all did... so let me help you.
[He turns and hurls that rock into the lake]
no subject
[see. this is why you're the only person he's going to talk to or trust for the next three weeks. so no one else will hold up that mirror and show him how horrible he is. that he's a monster. that he really did almost leave Bill down in those sewers. that he steals. that he lies. that that greatest fear of his is -almost- true.
all in all, it's just another rock in the lake. the ripples will claim it, the water will smooth over, and no one will even remember it was on the beach to begin with. let alone that it drew blood.]
no subject
What had they turned into?!
He picks up a couple more rocks, tossing them into the water.]
Hey, do you remember that book we read in English class last year? Lord of the Flies? [He pauses] I... I think I understand it, now. Like... more than I did before.
no subject
I got an A on that paper.
[this ... will be news. he threw it in the trash when he got it and told everyone his dad would be pissed if he found out he got a C, but that's what being famous someday was for, right you guys, ha ha ha. that book scared the shit out of him. it kept him up, a couple of nights. he was Piggy, and he knew it. knew Bowers was going to boot him off the cliff eventually. it's why he lied. if they don't think you're smart ... ]
I remember it.
no subject
You what? I thought you failed that paper!
[He shakes his head]
That doesn't fucking matter, now. What I'm saying is I think I understand the whole... going savage and killing people thing. [He picks up one of the rocks stained with blood] It's just rocks and moose and shit instead of spears. And even though we're not the ones holding 'em... we're still kinda doing the killing. Because shit here is fucking with our heads making us think it's the right thing to do.
no subject
And we can't fight it. We don't know enough. We won't know enough, it's impossible.
[he's not cut out to be a shounen. not when everyone around him keeps dying. sure, he finds strength in numbers, but the numbers are SO AGAINST HIM right now, and he feels so damn alone. except for Eddie. but ... Eddie, as much as he loves him ...
... against all of this? just Eddie isn't going to be enough to save them this time. and they can't even just end the cycle with one willful act of ignorance this time. they have to let it play out. he's not sure he can do that.]
no subject
[He wings another rock into the lake, not even caring what the lake cats will think about it.
All of this sucks and they're probably going to die and he's just done fucking caring about any of this camp bullshit.]
So... what do we do?
no subject
[he tried being the smart one, this week. the optimist. the leader type. Usagi, Mitsuru, Ichigo, Ren, Cielo ... they'd all inspired him. and all it taught him? was that he's more like Boa than like them]
I'm just the Trashmouth.
I stand outside while everyone else does all the work. Remember?
no subject
Yeah. And I'm just the scared weakling who can't do shit. So where the fuck does that leave us, huh?
[He leans back and HURLS the last rock as far as he fucking can, GLARING out over the water. He fucking hopes that hits one of the lake cats. He's daring them to come up and try to eat him again. Let them fucking try. He's fucking DONE.
After a long moment he turns and stares at Richie. There's fire in his eyes. It's his fucking turn to be the smart one.]
You know where that leaves us? It leaves us with us. The fucking Losers Club. The way it should be. We couldn't count on anyone else back home, why should we count on anyone else here? Sure they're nice to us, try to cheer us up when we're upset and whatever, but as soon as it looks like one've us might've done something? WHAM! [He snaps] You get fucking interrogated like a God Damned criminal. Yeah, yeah, a few of 'em said I couldn't have done it, but look at all of us who said Boa couldn't have done it. And look how fast we all turned on him! The same fucking thing's gonna happen to us if we're not careful. So I say we be careful. We keep our fucking heads down. Stay out of the way, and let the others do whatever the fuck they want to do. Let them get killed for poking their noses in shit. We stick together, me and you. Maybe if we do that we'll make it through this.
no subject
[he sighs]
We'll die together flipping them off, right?
[someone please reboot Tozier.exe now]
no subject
I'm not giving up, yet, Richie. Not on me and I'm sure as fuck not gonna give up on you.
no subject
no subject
I don't know 'bout you but I can't stand the thought of sleeping in that cabin tonight. What do you think about sleeping out here under the stars? Just you and me.
no subject
... Maybe we should see if Cabin 4 has anyone in it first. I dunno, Eds...
no subject
Okay, yeah we can check that, first.