camppetoskey | After(life) Party--

After(life) Party--

[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.

At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.

There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]

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[Lenka comes knocking eventually -- of course he does, he didn't see Chuuta down at the fire which was sort of expected, but it had taken some searching (the kitchen, Cabin 3) before he'd thought to look in Cabin 4. It's still a mostly unused space, only familiar as a meeting place and when they hit it up for investigations.

He does spot Chuuta there, finally, and leans next to the door for a moment after coming in. He's watching him to see how he is.]

Chuuta...

[Chuuta's just sitting on the edge of the bed, hands on his knees, expression blank.

The only indication that he's noticed Lenka is when he starts talking, quiet and almost monotone.]

I get bullied a lot at home. [That's all this was. More bullying.]

I'm weird, and gloomy, and I talk to myself, and I don't want to get close to people.

[And people don't like that.]

[After a moment, Lenka comes to sit next to him, close enough to be a support or to lean on if he needs it. He's still clumsy about initiating physical comfort of any kind, especially this week -- but he'll be here.]

Drew isn't something the people at home understand.

[He could have taken a guess at that -- and he can see how it would have played out just like it does here, because that particular difference and the distrust Chuuta has brought with him put it on full display. It's a vicious cycle that he perhaps should have done something about earlier; but he's still learning things like this. There were few enough peers of his own age back home, for most of his life.

Nowadays, they're almost all people he'd trust his life to on the battlefield. His social net has some gaps, shall we say. But he'll try.]

But, you know, Chuuta... you're not at home anymore. Even if it might not seem like it right now. [gentle, but firm] You're here. You're still here with us, because we want you here.

Edited 2018-07-08 07:06 (UTC)

It isn't just Drew. [He says, and he should be defending Drew a little bit more but he can't right now. He just sits there, and doesn't move.]

If Boa hadn't confessed, I... [it hurts, and he forces the words through the tightness in his throat] I'd be dead right now. That's how much people want me here.

[No, it isn't just Drew -- Drew is just the visible manifestation of a corner of the issues at play here. It's some of what Lenka had been afraid of since their profiles came out, and what Chuuta himself had perhaps been too afraid to address. There's little they can do now to take back all that's happened.

But they can only move forward, always. They've both been left here, and now it's up to them to decide what to do with it. Lenka's answer is still quiet, but maybe a little firmer.]

You aren't dead, Chuuta. Neither is Drew. Because enough of us wanted to find the truth. [he doesn't blame him for freezing in the spur of the trial; but now that it's over, he'll start nudging him forward if he seems to be stuck] That's important. It's all right if it's hard to believe in us at the moment. But, do you remember this last week?

You saw what happened in the cabin yesterday. ["This week" doesn't matter, not when the people he thought were his friends turned to tear him apart at the first opportunity.]

[It matters.]

I did. And you saw where we were on Monday. Tuesday.

[Chuuta had been in the thick of that, after all. It had been part of the reason Lenka reached out, wanted him with him on his patrol rounds because he'd been worried in the first place that trying too hard had painted a target on his back. And perhaps it had, but not... in the way they would have expected. There are upsides and downsides to that.]

Bad things were happening because of the hallucinations. The god turned against us. People were starting to turn against each other before you stood up on Tuesday. [he will remind him of that] But even after all of that, you're still here. Remember that.

Someone else would have said it on Tuesday. [Chuuta says, even though on Tuesday it had felt like no one else was going to step up, no one else was going to try and fight back against the voice in their heads.

Chuuta knows he's at his best when his back's against the wall, when he has to do something because no one else will. But here, it feels like someone else will always take care of things, someone else will always step up.]

But they didn't.

[And that's that.

There's always a tendency, especially after the trials and executions, to spiral all the way down into doubts and what-ifs -- anything and everything, and Lenka hasn't had the experience of nearly being scapegoated, at least not involuntarily. But he's willing to reach over and drag Chuuta out of that whirlpool, by force if need be.

He himself has taken a step back as best he can from starting things too much, charging into them, because it really... hasn't had good results in the past. But he can't stop moving forward, and doing his best to try and take people with him if he can. If he can do anything for those beside him, that will have to be enough for now.]

So you have a chance, Chuuta. Things are bad, I know. [that's just the way it is, now, in this kind of aftermath; but] But as long as you're alive, you have a chance to change them. I still need your help. We need your help to keep going.

[What are you going to do, Chuuta? Are you going to help them or are you going to hide?]

[There's no one else. He has to step up, he has to move forward.]

It's just that... I don't want to be a target again. I really don't want that. I don't want people acting like I would kill someone.

[Drew knows you wouldn't do that.]

I know you know that.

[Ah, there's Drew -- this might the longest Lenka's gone without hearing a one-sided conversation since power swap week, and there's something a little reassuring about the way Chuuta's tone changes immediately when he starts talking to his self-alien all over again.]

Even if you don't do anything, you could be a target. That's the kind of place this is. [he doesn't mince words about that, especially now; now that they've seen what Sol can do, what they can do under these circumstances] So... show them. Show them what you can do, like you showed me, so they have something to believe in.

[It's not quite about powers, like they talked about when the profiles came out -- not quite that, but also not quite not that. It's asking a lot, when Chuuta probably wants to close himself all the way off forever, but... that's where they are.

They're all going to need each other to keep going.]

[Show them.]

I'm not someone that people can... should believe in.

That's something for them to decide.

[He says that in the same tone that he said that's the kind of place this is, something simple and matter-of-fact. Because that is the kind of place this is, where the way they all relate to each other and build connections and bonds is what determines the direction of this camp. Of trials, of who lives and dies and walks away more or less in one piece.

There are few of them who are in one piece anymore.]

... I'll ask you something. Do you want to see everyone again?

[It's so dangerous. Relying on him, believing in him... in the end, he still isn't enough. He still...

and then Lenka's question pulls him out of that spiral.]

Of course I do!

[None of them are quite enough. None of them can do enough. That's something both of them (all three of them) have acknowledged by now. And there may not be enough of them anymore, period, as the sacrifices mount.

But there's still something to stand by: none of them are in this alone.

Lenka gives a small nod when Chuuta responds, approving.]

Then do something about it. There are things only you and Drew can do, aren't there?

... I guess so, but I don't think our sympathy is going to help get us out of here.

You said your -- sympathy is for defense. [he's still getting used to this sort of terminology in every day conversation, but he's getting better at not tripping over it] That's one of the things we need. To keep as many people alive and safe as possible.

[So far, they've managed to minimize casualties, ever since the various moose disasters and the hunters in the first week. He hates thinking of it as a numbers game, and rarely voices it, but that's what they can work with, with the information they have. Ten people, at least. More than that, if they're very lucky.

He doubts they'll be that lucky, especially after the Metaverse fiasco, but in the absence of luck you make your own.]

There's no way to know if someone's killing somebody else. We can't see or hear them when it happens, and... nobody's even gone out looking for anyone on Thursday night. And I know it's supposed to be for self-defense, but I... we don't have anything that could work as a shield to protect others if we were attacked.

It's not just the ritual we need to worry about. Not always, like last week.

[Last week it had been... a group effort, really, the hostility and the mess of secrets -- something that extended beyond the murder itself and needs a lot more mending than any of them know how to do alone. They've made a start at it; he does think they all want to. It's just going to take time.

In the meantime...]

Your nets can restrain and stop attack. As long as you choose when to use them, you can help make sure things don't escalate. You remember when Kirijo stopped Lance and Nine, before.

[We can arrest people.]

I... guess. I don't know if restraining people would really help things, but it's something.

[And... Lenka probably needs to know a little bit about how sympathy works. But now isn't the time to explain it, not after all the questions and accusations.]

Yes. I don't think we'll have to deal with our powers being messed up again, but even so...

[Even so, even with all their abilities right where they're supposed to be -- all of them have them, and as Lance had demonstrated, as Chloe had demonstrated, as so many others had shown them... It's easy for things to get out of control, even when you think you know yourself.

It's been a low-key worry of his all this time, something that doesn't exempt himself. But that's a problem for another day, much like sympathy details.]

It's something to think about.

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After(life) Party--

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