After(life) Party--

[soylentprotag]

[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.

At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.

There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]

Comments

[soylentprotag]

[Yeah, none of them are exactly handling this week well -- and some worse than others, even if physically it's not as taxing as the first week was; that would be pretty difficult. Right now it's everything in their heads and hearts that's sickening, slowly numbing and leeching away into the stone crawling through their insides.

It's hard to know if the stone in them is even the worst thing, after today. After the stoning.]

You're staying out here?

[Not quite a question, perhaps stating the obvious, but still.]

[itsagazebo]

[Eddie nods]

Yeah...

[For a moment it seems like that might be the end of his response. What else could he say, after all? But he glances over his shoulder towards Cabin 3. It looks for a second as if he's going to cry again, but he shuts down, clenching his teeth and turning his gaze back to the fire.]

It's just me, Richie, Nine, and Chuuta left in there, now... and I... I can't go in there. I can't face Chuuta... or Tal... or look at Boa or Usagi's bunks... I just... I can't.

[soylentprotag]

[He sees that clenching of teeth and for a moment it looks like he's going to say something.

But Lenka lets him pull it back together, because all of them have spent so much time today -- so much time this week -- flying apart already. They're going to need their strength for the weeks ahead, and while he can't protect the younger children from this, from the death that crouches at the end of every week with grinning teeth and grasping hands he can at least try to give them the time and room to prepare for it.

That's really all he can do for now -- grit his teeth, double down and prepare and grasp at any answers and truths he can. Sometimes that means reaching for people, trying to keep them together as best he can.]

... You can take a little time. But you should talk to Chuuta again, when you can. [because they're all still trapped here, and they have to hold on to what they can, while they have it; he won't push, but he'll offer nudges] And if you need to, for a little while... I'd have to ask those in my cabin. But we have an extra bunk.

[It would be a lot better than sleeping outside, though many of them have done that too.]

[itsagazebo]

[Eddie freezes, stone still as he thinks about this. He can't even envision looking Chuuta in the eyes again, let alone talking to him, after what he'd done... after what they'd all done. It seemed like a distant horrifying memory, like he was watching some terrible movie and could do nothing but yell at the screen at some weird distant version of himself saying all the terrible things he had.]

Are you sure that's a good idea? I... I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to talk to me again.

[soylentprotag]

[Most of the trials and executions are a little bit that way -- like particularly bad missions, or the things that walk through his dreams and scream their fury and sorrow across the camp this week when he isn't focusing properly; it's like watching someone else go through the motions by now, in the end. Someone else who knows what he's doing, and reaches out to tighten the noose with his own hands and a piece of paper.

This isn't something any of them -- any of them -- were ever meant to do. And some part of Lenka is stubbornly clinging to that, to the knowledge that none of them would have ever been driven to this without this camp. The other part--]

--That's something you'll have to let Chuuta decide, I think. Like I said, you can take some time. But you have to give him the chance to decide. [weeks ago, he would have expected Eddie to run from something like this entirely; though weeks ago he would also not have expected Eddie to act quite the way he had this week; all the same, he's noticed -- under all the mess of the days and weeks -- the way he's standing straighter and speaking his mind more, and it's not always a bad thing like it was earlier] Because if we all stopped speaking to people when we accused or questioned them... not a lot of us would be speaking to each other anymore.

[And there aren't a lot of them left anymore, he leaves unsaid for now. They're all going to need each other in the weeks ahead, whether they really want to deal with each other or not. He's hoping most of them will still want to.]

[itsagazebo]

[It's like a chill washes over him. He shivers, thinking about how close he'd been to being a suspect, himself. And how often he'd accused someone else of being a murderer... like Shirou... and none of them seemed to hold it over them. Hell, even he didn't think badly on Lenka for interrogating him during the trial.

He wraps his arms more tightly around himself, almost trying to shrink away from the guilt and pain he was feeling. Richie was right... they were turning into monsters.]

The only reason I wasn't more of a suspect was 'cause Boa said he saw me... I guess... I guess none of us are safe... either from being killed or being accused of doing it.

[soylentprotag]

[He hates the trials, hates that they're being made to sit around and point fingers until one of them breaks down or is broken down far enough to face death, willing or unwilling.

(But in a way, after this last one, he also sees what it does: it forces them to find their way to the truth, in a way that they can't deny nor turn away from. It also forces their hands in the matter. Makes them responsible. He still can't agree with it.)

When Eddie starts hugging himself, he shuffles over a little closer. Trying to comfort with presence, if he can.]

I think it's the way this ritual works. It pushes us farther than we would ever go, because it wants something from us. We don't know exactly what it wants yet. [besides their lives, their souls, the things that make up their selves and everything they could be] But we'll do our best to find out. For now, the best thing we can do is -- keep looking for the truth.

[Whether in trial or outside of it.]

And look out for each other. I think you're good at that.

[itsagazebo]

Keep looking for the truth while it keeps making us fucking kill each other. Awesome.

[He sighs. He doesn't want to think anymore. He doesn't want to, well, do ANYTHING anymore.]

Yeah... Rich and I will look out for each other. We... we wanted to keep a few of us together in the cabin that night but Red made us split up. So we gotta be careful not to hang out with the same people too much or we might end up alone, like... like me and Boa.

[soylentprotag]

[It's always hard to get up much motivation or energy again each Saturday; after each trial and execution it becomes a little harder, until it's a routine of slowly digging yourself out of the dark, where the dead should be but aren't.]

We would have to kill even if we didn't look for the truth, Eddie. We'll look for the truth of this place so we don't have to kill anymore. Any of us.

[He doesn't explicitly add the counselors to that, Red, because the execution is still fresh and those in Cabin 3 have understandable beef with her right now. But it's there, between the lines, because he's made a quiet commitment to try for it.]

... I remember you all talking about that, at the trial. Not being able to stay with each other. If that happens again, you should come check the other cabins. There's usually someone there.

[itsagazebo]

[He sighs heavily.]

Yeah... yeah I know. That doesn't make me feel any fucking better about any of this, though.

[Cabin 3 is a TRAINWRECK right now, Lenka, you don't even know.]

That's a good idea... thanks. I'll do that. Being alone is definitely not a good idea these days.