Utsugi "May the Vores Be With You" Lenka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
soylentprotag) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
camppetoskey2018-07-07 03:11 pm
soylentprotag) wrote in camppetoskey2018-07-07 03:11 pm
After(life) Party--
[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.
At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.
There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]
At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.
There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]
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[He looks down at his note. He expected them to not 'understand' it, but... this specific cover story makes him smile wanely]
Don't expect a letter back, but... sometimes it's good to get everything out, right?
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[He trails off, looking down, on hand coming up to his head, to the stupid Chocobo hat now stained with Boa's blood. His expression crumbles, blank passivity turning to something anguished and he wrenches the hat off and throws it as far as he can with a sound somewhere between a sob and a scream.
When he finally looks up at Ren his expression is strained, one hand reaching for him briefly before he yanks it back, gritting his teeth.]
You're right. He didn't know it was wrong, couldn't know. Wasn't smart enough, human enough. Not till recently... till Red.
[Gods there's so much more he wants to say, more he needs to for their safety, more he wants to because he misses them, more he wants to because he can't stand what his existence is doing to them.]
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[He tries to chance down that awareness, grabbing Talcott's hands]
It's okay, you all couldn't control what happened... me... me either. I'm coming for you. For all of you... so just stay strong for a little longer...
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Don't let me hurt-
[He bites off the last word, opens his mouth again like there's more, there's supposed to be more.
And then the panic in his eyes flickers and fades, eyes fluttering closed as he slumps a little, tension easing out of his body, lax and soft again. He blinks down at his hands, at Ren's hands in his, tilts his head confused for a moment.]
You know... if... if you like someone else. It-
It's okay. [And even without being present he's slowly trying to withdraw.]
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That's not true-
[Be honest]
I... it's not... not true either. That's why we had that talk, do you remember? I... I need people. I fall in love easily. I'm greedy too, because it scares the shit out of me to be alone.
But my feelings haven't changed. Not one bit. You're not hurting me Tal- I'm fighting for you.
[He lets go, and walks over to the discarded hat- his hands tremble at the sight of blood and bits of hair and meat]
You know, I can probably get some soda water from Stan. Might end up a little lumpy- pretty sure this is supposed to be dry-cleaned only. But maybe... I can salvage it.
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You deserve better. [And that's true. Whether it's coming from the "real" Talcott or not, it's true. There are so many more reasons that he should want to put distance between them but it's all buried under peace and the Lord and confusion.]
Oh... oh did I get something on it? [Why doesn't he remember losing his hat?] Awww... Nine got that for me...
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[Said with just a little humor, though his voice is a bit watery]
...maybe he can help me get it clean. He has bigger scrubbing muscles than I do.
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[The joke gets a weak, breathy laugh.]
I like your muscles just fine. [Soft and a little sleepy as he crosses his arms on the picnic table and pillows his head on his arms. It's too hot to do anything more than laze about. That's totally why he's exhausted.]
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Rest. You earned it.
[He doesn't know how exactly them 'talking' to the living works, but he can tell it's difficult]
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's nice...
[But he's fading]
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