After(life) Party--

[soylentprotag]

[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.

At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.

There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]

Comments

[le_mat]

[He's not hard to find, if you're looking. Right now he's up in a tree not far from the lodge- so he can see everyone coming and going, but he out of their sight for the most part]

[trashmouthtozier]

[on his way into the Lodge, he stops, and turns to look over at the lake, where Mishibijw and its children are, on a whim. he thinks maybe he should try to leave them some food, since ... Usagi isn't there to do it, anymore.

his breath hitches in his chest, and he looks up to keep from crying, the way his sister taught him, feeling the sting that leads to tears distributing itself along his lower eyelids until it isn't so awful anymore. and while he's standing there, pulling himself together, he spots Ren. up a tree, like Talcott used to do. he's not sure if he's hiding, but he knows that if Ren IS hiding, he might be part of the reason why.

he walks up to the tree, leans against it as though that's what he came to do, watching the lake, and speaks quietly so as not to blow his hiding spot]

I'm an asshole. I'm sorry.

[le_mat]

...

['You didn't do anything wrong' 'You should apologize to Chuuta, not me' 'It's okay'

He could say a lot of things. All would be at least a little bit fake. ANd... he promised Red he would try to be more fully his 'real' self. Stop mentally editing himself to be more likable, more reliable. Just say what he meant.]

I forgive you. I'm sorry that... it came to Boa. That I yelled at you and Eddie.

[trashmouthtozier]

You just wanted the truth.

I ... talked to Chuuta. I don't know if we're okay yet, but. We ... I told him I was sorry.

[he doesn't know because the thread isn't done shh]

Eddie and I ... I'm glad you yelled at us. We ... we trusted the wrong person.

[le_mat]

I'd rather you trust the wrong person than distrust everyone, honestly.

[trashmouthtozier]

[given the conversation he had with Eddie last night after the trial, that stings in a fresh wound like lemon in a papercut, but he grits his teeth and bears it. Nine. Eddie. Kirijo. Gonta. Cielo. Those are the only ones he trusts, right now, and the only ones he'll fully trust going forward. everyone else is at arm's length, even Ren. but just because he doesn't trust them doesn't mean he doesn't care if they live or die.]

Because of how not trusting Chuuta went. I get it.

[he's learned that lesson, okay? no need to rub it in. he's trying very hard not to get angry all over again. maybe it's time to change the subject.]

Nine showed me what you wrote.

[le_mat]

[Ren winces: honestly he hadn't meant it that harshly. But better to be upfront than to try and take it back]

We had every reason to suspect him- you weren't wrong there. But... it's over and done.

And yeah... dunno if I'm on the right track or not. Could all be bullshit, but it's something to work with. Oh, uhm... by the way. How... is Nine?

[trashmouthtozier]

He's ... well. How are you? I know I sure feel like shit.

[he's actually talking, though, and the swearing is back, so ... it's a strange yet sure sign the Trashmouth is slowly on the mend]

Everyone feels like shit. Asking how we are seems like a pretty dumb question.

[he pauses]

But I'll tell him you're worried about him when I see him again later.

[le_mat]

...heh, yeah, pretty dumb. I just- I am worried about him. Kinda scared to talk to him right now though. And he's closer to you guys so... yeah.

[trashmouthtozier]

Why are you scared? I mean - we already know we're all screwed.

Might as well talk to him, right? [it's the attitude he's deciding to adopt]

[le_mat]

Why? I guess... I'm scared he'll hate me? That's why I've been kinda hiding out- so none of you have to see me unless you want to.

[trashmouthtozier]

Dude, if he hates you, you come bitch to me, and I'll go yell at him for being an idiot.

[duh?]