camppetoskey | After(life) Party--

After(life) Party--

[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.

At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.

There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]

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Functioning is. Kinda what we all is.

[ He scratches at his leg a bit, thinking. ]

Listen... if you need somebody to talk to, I'm here, bro. I still mean dat.

... I'm sorry I've never taken you up on that. I've been trying so hard to seem like I know what I'm doing and... all it's done is caused me to mess up due to holding everything in.

No offense, bro, but I doubt anybody believes we know what we doin'.

[ He chuckles. ]

Dat's okay, though. We all tryin' togetha.

Heh, yeah...

Cielo, have you ever done something you regretted while a demon?

Plenty of stuff.

[ Like, loads of stuff. ]

I mean, I tried to make peace wid de reality of it, but bein' a demon ain't exactly de best thing ever.

Yeah, I bet...

How do you... handle it? Even though you know it's not really your fault?

[Guess who hasn't slept in almost 48 hours due to what happened?]

... Honestly, I had to make peace wid de fact dat bein' a demon was part of me. Dat devourin' an' everythin' dat comes wid it meant I was gwon hurt some people. It was... hard, though.

[ He's quiet for a moment. ]

If you thinkin' about what I think you thinkin' about, it ain't... it ain't your fault. Not totally. It's like how people lose control'a demselves when dey afflicted by de Hunger. Dey jus' go crazy and devour anythin' in sight. But you came back from dat.

You lucky. It means you still you, dat some part of you is still thinkin' and feelin' an' aware.

[Ren scrubs at his face a little]

Ugh, almost wish I wasn't- okay, no not literally but... you know. Every time I close my eyes I see him.

I know what you feelin', trust me. I've... kinda been dere.

[ He sighs. ]

Thinkin' about it every time you close your eyes. Jus' can't get it outta your head. Makes you really sick. ... You ain't a bad person, brudda. If anything, you jus' like me. You stuck wid somethin' dat ain't easy to control.

[He nods, eyes closing to try and hold back silent, exhausted tears]

I know I'll just pass out eventually. I can't complain, not after everyone else had to see that. After what this has to be doing to Mitsuru-kun...

... I can't really think of anytime we slept much after becomin' demons.

[ Now that he thinks about it. ]

But if you got nightmares, I think... maybe try wakin' yourself up. Dere's usually somethin' to help you recognize it's a dream, right?