After(life) Party--

[soylentprotag]

[Lenka isn't talking much, though he spends most of the time after the execution either expressionless or frowning, moving among the ones still left at the campfire to check on people and try to make sure none of them are trying to either follow Boa or possibly throw literal or metaphorical stones at each other. Probably everyone's too exhausted for any of that at this point.

At some point he disappears for a little bit and comes back with an entire table and supplies -- not from the kitchen, but from the stash he'd accumulated in Cabin 2. It's not much, but it feels better than eating anything from the kitchen right now. Nobody wants that.

There's just some crackers and fruit snacks and some cheese with them. A few baggies to take them to go since most people aren't hungry right this moment. Once that's set out, he'll idle at one end of the table, staring out into the lake.]

Comments

[homeecspacecop]

I just didn't want you to see it. [He says, again, despite the apology because it means a lot more than just those words, but those words are the only ones he has right now. He didn't want Richie to get hurt or be scared.]

Sorry.

[trashmouthtozier]

... Chuuta.

[he finally stops crying long enough for what's happening to register]

Shit, we both kinda fucked up, didn't we.

I ... you and Drew ... I could've ... you were just trying to help us. And we treated you like shit.

[homeecspacecop]

[He's not crying. It's too much to cry, it's too big and too heavy.]

If... if Boa hadn't... [the words catch in his throat, choke him, he doesn't want to know the answer.]

[trashmouthtozier]

That doesn't matter.

[he shakes his head, fast and hard, because he doesn't want to think about it, either]

We know the truth. The truth ... that's ... that's what matters. I'm so, so sorry.

[homeecspacecop]

[That's... that's as good as an answer. That's the same as a yes.]

And the truth is that you would have voted for me.

[trashmouthtozier]

But I didn't because it wasn't true and I'm SORRY!

[he really isn't sure what else to say. he's hurt and frustrated and this is tearing him apart in the worst ways, and nothing he can do or say is fixing it, and that just makes it even worse. he can't even figure out what to do with himself, physically, so he just ... shakes his head again, fast and hard, like he's trying to whip something out of his brain]

[homeecspacecop]

But you would have. You would have voted for me. [Chuuta isn't yelling. He isn't moving much either, just a slow shake of his head and a flat voice.]

You would have voted for me even though you said we were friends. Just because some-- just because Boa put paint on my bunk.

[trashmouthtozier]

It ... it wasn't just that.

[he's just as tired, just as sad]

It was the way you tried to keep us away in the kitchen after the paint. Because like I said, we - we didn't realize that was what you were doing. We ... we decided before we thought about it, and I'm never gonna do that again.

I ... I don't want to lose any more friends, damn it.

[homeecspacecop]

... I don't want to either. [But it feels like he has. Even this conversation, he's having it with someone who's barely his friend anymore.]

I'm not going to kill anyone here, Richie. I promise.

[trashmouthtozier]

Me either.

Chuuta, I - I really am sorry. I know it's probably hard to believe me because I was such a dick, but ... but ...

I don't hate you. I'm - I'm just an idiot.

[homeecspacecop]

I know. [He knows Richie doesn't hate him, but it might come off a little...]

We're still friends, right?

[trashmouthtozier]

If you wanna be, still?

[the relief is so strong that it sets him crying again, but at least this time he's smiling]

Fuck. Absolutely.

[homeecspacecop]

[The secret that Chuuta thought was his, the one Gonta was told by the voice, was about abandonment issues. That's never really been a secret for Chuuta, he's always (or at least, for half of his life) been a person who tries to push people away so they don't get too close, but then he always latches on too tightly to the people he calls his friends.

He gasps in a breath of air, and nods. And nods again, more forcefully.]

I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose anyone.

[trashmouthtozier]

Then you won't.

[HUG???]

[homeecspacecop]

[Chuuta accepts the hug, and clings, grabbing at the fabric of Richie's shirt and hiding his face against his friend's shoulder.

He isn't crying, too shaken and shocked and tired for that, but he holds on and doesn't let go.]