[There's another hesitation. He's been avoiding this topic for a while; he isn't going to lie, but he doesn't precisely have an answer, either.]

I don't... know yet.

[This year's would be the first one since he was last uprooted, after all. It feels like he won't know how to feel until he's there. Maybe not even then. Maybe it won't matter, in the end.]

I think birthdays can be important. They mean you're still alive, another year. It's different here.